"Oh my gosh, is it really you?"

"Oh my gosh, is it really you?" I stared at an equally shocked face, one that I thought I will never see again in a million years.

He has grown so much taller. His hair cropped and neat -- like he just finished military school. His body a lot more broader and muscular, I must say. His muscles flexed in a two-size-too-small shirt. He had abs and was well toned. I noticed he had a piercing on his right ear, absolutely hot. And I noticed a tattoo under his left wrist that said "3STM" -- he still loves that band. But one thing I know, he is nothing like the guy that left me heartbroken five years ago.

I remember that fateful morning, it was our third year anniversary for being together. I had planned the most unforgettable third year anniversary surprise for him. I just knew it was going to be perfect. Little did I know...

I woke up to a beautiful morning, the sunlight was shining on my face through the blinds in my room. I stretched and breathed in a whiff of fresh morning air -- nothing could spoil my mood today. As soon as I finished my breakfast, I drove my way to the florist to pick up the roses I have ordered.

"There you go, two dozen roses. Pink, red, white, and everything you asked for." the florist wrapped it up and passed them to me.

"Thank you!" I paid the money and left.

I knew where he always goes to in the morning so I drove to this little shed where he and his band have their practise. He gave me an extra key for the shed so I could go in whenever I wanted.

I walked in and closed the door behind me. I sighed, there's a lot of work to do.

I had packed lasagna and meatloaf -- his two favourite food -- the night before for our date later. I set a table and placed it on top. A table for two. I had brought a mat where we could lie down after the meal. I prepared an album full of his favourite love songs and played it in a player. I set some roses on the table and mat and then sprinkled the rest on the floor. I closed the curtains to create a romantic ambience and then I slipped into a dress which I bought specially for this occasion. It was bright red, short and skimpy. I put on some bright red lipstick and waited for him to arrive. I was ready to roll.

Ten minutes later, I heard the rumbling of the engine of a truck. I scurried to the other door and waited to surprise him.

The door opened.

"Why hello there, sexy." I said in a deep low voice. I was feeling sexy, alright?

He stared at me for two seconds and said, "Baby, I love you, but we're over." and without any explanation, he just walked out and left me there -- speechless, dumbfounded, numb and confused.

I thought he'll turn back and hug me and squeeze me and say that he was just joking. It didn't take me four seconds to realize he was serious. I looked around at the room I just decorated for him, so much for the perfect day. The second he left my life, I could feel my life slowly slipping away. I knew I wouldn't get over him. Since then, I've never seen him again until...

We stared at each other for at least a whole minute. Neither of us spoke. Should I walk away? Talk to him? Ask him why he left me without any reasons. So many questions I had for him but I never really thought I would have the chance to ask him.

"It's Julia, right?" he finally broke the silence.

I gave him one final cold stare and decided to walk away.

"FYI, it's Julie." showed my talk-to-the-hand sign and left him there -- speechless, dumbfounded, numb and confused -- how he left me five years ago.

Oh yeah. I so totally gotten over him.

WEINI - Not Enough Time

Life is so short,
But how come
We never appreciate it?
Wasting so much
Of what we hold
Wasting so much
Of people's gold.

Time flies
Look at it;
It forgets
It heals
It forgives.
It kills
It breaks hearts
It steals.

How many times
You turn back
To look at what
I gave?

How many times
Have you turn back
To notice what
I saved?

How many times
Have you ever thank me
For lending you my time
For wasting years in my life?

How many times
You ever looked me in the eyes
And tell me,
'You're beautiful,
And I love you with all my life.'

One day,
It will be too late.
One day,
I will collapse
Out of breath
Out of beats
Out of time
Just before you reach me
And hold me tight.

You will whisper
In my dead, deaf ear on the left;
"You're beautiful,
And I would have love you with all that's left."

And I will hear it
Somewhere
In another universe and dimension
Waiting to be reunited
For a thousand years
A million years
And forever...

WEINI - Starting With 'U' - Chapter 10

Alyse agreed! She agreed to come! And she gave me Kitkat! I smiled quietly to myself in the car. I can't wait! Two more days..... two more days to sleeping late and waking up late minus the disastrous detention! I just can't wait!

The minute I reached home, I rushed to my room and checked my mobile phone. Oh... my heart dropped in disappointment. No text from Alyse yet. Maybe she haven't reach home yet. I mean, come to think of it, she was walking home today. So yea, I should wait for another hour. I mean, she's a girl. She probably need to shower and stuff...

One hour later...

Okay, this might sound stupid but I think I really like Alyse. She's different... like some kind of... ummm... I don't know why I like her. I don't know how I like her either. Like say, in a girl friend way or a good friend way. But then, is that a big difference? She's just different from the other girls.

It's one hour after school and she still haven't text me yet. But then, she never said she was gonna text me anyway right? Sigh... I'm overreacting. I should probably forget it. I mean, it's not like it's holiday yet. Yet, I have a feeling that she would text me today... hmm... sixth sense or something.

Another one hour later...

Shyte... I kinda have to admit that I'm staring and waiting (AND drooling) loyally like some kind of innocent puppy by my mobile phone. It's really nerve wrecking, really. I think I'm just gonna go get something to eat first...

I walked down stairs to the kitchen and poked my head into the refrigerator. Cabbage. Coke. Lollipops. Brocolli, urgh! I recoiled in disgust. Cheese. Ice cream. Leftover pizzas. Apples. A half eaten watermelon wrapped in plastic. Ahh! That's what I was looking for - Kitkat! Awh... she offered me her Kitkat. Now I'm addicted to Kitkat. Wait, I always have loved Kitkat. Anyway, now I love them even more.

I took the whole packet out and sat at the kitchen table. I unwrapped the foil slowly and took a deep breath in. Ahh... Kitkat's dark chocolate. I love it! The aroma was soooo... erm... what was that word??? AH! Therapeutic. I took a bit and chew it thoughtfully... hmm... is it me or the Kitkat tastes different today? The Kitkat tastes different today.

After finishing the whole packet of chocolate, I poured myself some warm water and drank it. I walked up slowly to my room, hoping that there is a text from Alyse waiting for me. But NO. There wasn't any. Sigh... this sucks... I started in on my homework. I just need to be patient. She never said she was gonna text me. Yeap, I'm getting pass that... At about 9 something in the late evening, my mobile phone rang and I practically dived at it. On the screen was the name of the person I've been waiting to hear from the whole afternoon. See? Patience is virtue. It's Alyse! I waited a few seconds before picking up.

"Hi Aaron!" her voice floated down the phone. I think I must be crazy to think that the way she says my name... is different. She makes it sound so special...
"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Are you busy?" I can hear her frown down the phone.

"Busy? Uhh..." I didn't wanna let her know that I was waiting for her call, so I shuffled some papers to make some noise, "I was quite busy... but... what's up?"

"The top bunk," she replied nonchalantly.

"Hahahahahahahaha! Right!" I laughed.

"So erm... I called you to... talk," she said lamely.

"Obviously! You didn't call to hear me breathe, did you?" I tried to joke. But it was lame and I slapped my forehead.

She laughed her laugh. "So what do you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"Hmm... do you know that... Gabriel broke up with his girlfriend?" she asked carefully.

"Owh... he did... he did?" I asked, I felt disappointed. He's single and available. That's not a good thing is it? No it's not a good thing at all.

"Yeah!!!" she said cheerfully.

"Good for you then. He's single again," I said, not trying to hide my disappointment.

"Yea! I was soooooooo happy when I heard that! I was practically floating on the air while I walked home! It's like sooooooo... uh... CRAZEEEE!!!!" she squealed.

I winced. It hurts my heart, like a needle had just punctured my heart. That feeling sucks. But she doesn't know that I like her and I didn't wanna risk our friendship by telling her that I like her. It's too early to do that.

"I see... " I added just to show that I was listening to her.

"Are you... okay?" Alyse asked with uncertaincy.

"Me? Fine? Uhhh... yeah... I was just a bit distracted..." I said while shuffling the papers louder. I paced my room and accidentally kicked my bed.

"OUUUUUWWWWHHHH!!!" I shouted in pain. I bent down to rub my toe. Damn it!!! How can such little thing hurt so much? I was really frustrated. But what can I do?

"Is everything alright over there?" Alyse asked worriedly.

"Ouwwwhh... erm... everything is fine over here. I just kicked my bed by accident. No big deal... " I tried assuring her.

"You sound busy..." Alyse said. Yeah! I'm busy nursing my wounded heart... and toe, that's what. After she told me that news, I wasn't in a mood to chat with her anymore.

"Yeah, in fact, I just remembered there are some... things that had to be done and have been postponed too long..." I lied. I'm such a bad liar... for add-on, I'm such a jerky, bad and idiotic liar.

"Owh..." she said disappointedly. "You go on with your work then... we'll chat next time then! Bye!" and she hung up.

"Bye..." I said to the receiver. I sighed. Why did Gabriel exist? Why did he broke up with his girlfriend anyway??? I punched my pillow repeatedly. I punched them till I was too tired to move my arms and I fell, dead tired onto my bed. I breathed hard. I closed my eyes, took my pillow and pressed it on my face and screamed into the pillow. My muffled screams make me think more about it. This is me. My heart. Screaming, but muffled by Alyse's love for Gabriel. Not wait, Alyse may tell me a lot about Gabriel, but it's not love. I'm very sure. It's just... an interest. A crush. I'm sure. I closed my eyes and calmed my breath.

I think I slept off because the next thing I open my eyes, sunlight was pouring into my windows. I closed my eyes again. Wait a minute! Sunlight??? Oh damn it! I'm late again!!!!!!

I jumped off my bed and ran to my bathroom, washed my face and got ready for school. How come no one bothered to wake me up??? I ran down the stairs into the dining room. My parents were sitting at the table with my siblings.

"Why did no one wake me up???" I said angrily.

"Oh... we thougth you were sick... or unhappy. Areli heard you screaming in your room yesterday. Was something wrong?" my mother asked worriedly.

"Nothing, I'm fine. But I'm late, " I said. I took a piece of toast and ran into the car. I told the driver, also my most trusted friend, Malvolio, to drive fast because I was really late. I looked out the window and I saw Alyse, running towards school. I laughed. She must be late too. I told Malvolio to stop and shouted to Alyse and told her to come with me to school. She came in.

"Thanks!" she thanked me.

"Welcome..." I said.

"How's your foot?" she asked, concerned. My heart fluttered.

"Foot? Oh, that? It was nothing..." I said, I can feel blush rising up my neck. Malvolio stiffled a laugh and coughed to cover it. I glared at him dangerously through the mirror.

"Anyway... *sneeze*" Oh GOSH! That was embarrassing!

"'Scuse me..." I said, wiping my nose.

"Ewww... that was disgusting..." Alyse commented in disgust.

"Sorry," I wiped my hand on my pants.

"Now, that was even more disgusting," Alyse said.

Oh shyte. What was I thinking???

"Owh. Erm. Habit," I said. Habit??? Alyse just said it was disgusting and I said it was habit? I mentally slapped my forehead.

Alyse raised her right brow, like she always does when she's going to say, 'Riiiight...'

"Riiiight..." Alyse said. See? I told you!
"I mean, erm... I'm trying to kick this bad habit. It's really bad. I know that..." I said. I wish I could just shut up.

"Riiiight..." Alyse added and nodded to herself. She looked at me for a moment but I avoided her look. Then she turned to look out the window.

Suddenly she turned and said excitedly," Hey!!! You know what?"

"No," I frowned.

"Of course you don't! Not until I tell you!" she said.

"Right. What?" I said, uninterested.

"I was chatting with Gabriel online yesterday and he knows me! But he was like... 'owh! Are you the girl who is always late?'. That was totally embarrassing..." she said.

"You chatted with him? Since when do you guys chat online?" I asked, suddenly curious to know more.

"Since last night. I gave him a bad impression... sigh..."

"I'm sure it's not that bad. Once he gets to know you, he might actually like you afterall. Guys prefer girls like you anyway," I said with a shrug.

"Really? They do?" Alyse asked happily.

"Yeah!" now I'm regretting what I said. What if she knows that the 'guys' I  referred to was generally me?

"That's good! I've got a chance! YAY!" she squealed in delight.

"Yay..." I cheered unenthusiastically. My life just can't get any worse.

WEINI - Remember When?

Note: This is not my work. But I post this because this is exactly, EXACTLY, how I feel... credits to TaylorMarie on http://www.inkpop.com/

Remember that time?

Remember that place?

Remember that person?

Remember that face?

Remember when we were so close together?

That we thought we’d last forever?

Remember what we once were?

Cause now everything is a blur.

Do you remember me?

Look at me and what do you see?

A person from the past;

Good things never last.

I guess we were too good.

Closer than we ever should.

You don’t know what you meant to me.

But now I’ve gotten where I could see.

We weren’t meant to be.

Remember when we thought we were best friends?

And when we thought it’d never end?

You broke a promise you should’ve kept.

I would have forgave you except.

You forgot about me, about us, about we.

When you’re with her, you don’t see me.

But what do you see?

A girl from your past,

You didn’t know we wouldn’t last.

But do you, remember when?

The Way Life Is

If your first fall was your first heart break,

Then you're not even halfway done.

If you don't bother to get well from being love sick,

Then you will never know the meaning of fun.

Life is not all about the guy in high school,

Because chances are slim that he'll be there to see you win.

So wake up from your dream of a fool,

Because denying God's gift - happiness in life - is the greatest sin.

Why torture ourselves with blameless worries,

When we all will meet at the end ultimately?

Life is made up of a million stories,

Might as well choose the good endings and live happily.

If the hardest thing in life is to hold on,

Then the strongest thing to do is to let go.

If feelings can be described in words and songs,

There is probably a lot about a person you can know.

So live up to only your own expectations,

Let no one dictate your life for you.

For the end will be marked with celebrations,

When you see yourself through.

Good Bye My Love and Our Friendship

It's been eight days.
I feel wasted.
Patience, I only have patience.
They say, sometimes, doing nothing is doing everything.
Yes, I tried to do something.
I tried so hard, I'm so tired now.
All my efforts...
Going down the drain.
You know how it feels when people don't appreciate your efforts, but have you EVER appreciate others'?
Have you ever seen what others do for you?
What your family, your friends do for you?
I'm so tired now, I've decided it's time I stop trying.
Stop trying, mourn a little for our friendship.
Huh!
Our friendship which you say is not possible anymore.
A friendship... which I feel so heavy-hearted to part with.
But I'd mourn a little for it.
I'm not heartless.
I'd probably move on.
Yea, I'd do that.
Perhaps one day, when we meet again, if we ever, we'd smile and retrospect our silly days together.
Foolish tears shed.
Silly days... that's what they always say.
But it's not silly for me... yet.
It's serious, it's hurtful.

People take my patience for granted.
I know that, but I don't know why I still let people do that.
It's so sickening.
Now, I don't want to do anything.
Why is that so hard?
I tried to stop you because you are heading towards the cliff.
I don't want you to plunge into the ocean's dark.
I want to save you before it's too late.

I don't want to be the person to always say sorry first.
To break the ice.
I want to hold my ego for once, just this once.
I want to be selfish just this once.
But sometimes, feelings muddle up your head.
Sometimes, feelings make you do stupid things.
But I don't want to be stupid anymore.
I'm glad you know you break hearts with your ego.
Yes, your ego is THAT heavy.
But just knowing is not good enough...
It's not good enough.
Knowing it and DOING something about it, is something that should be done.
Sometimes, who knows when, the outcome for how you reacted to it might be desirable.
Don't think you know everyone's mind and everyone's next words.
Because everything is unpredictable.
Life is full of surprises...

The world doesn't revolve around you.
But you could be the centre of the universe for someone.
And also, sweeping the dirt under the carpet only makes the place seem presentable, it doesn't make the place cleaner.

So I shall bury this friendship 6 feet under and move on.
I shall mourn for it and visit it in my memory from time to time.
I shall move on with life.
But I will never forget all of it.
How it's been part of my life and how it's changed my life for the better...
And how it's departure, has also deeply changed my life.
Now, a part of my life is gone.
I wish it never did.
I wish it would return.
But sometimes, letting go of the things you love the most, is setting yourself free.
Someday, that missing slot, will be filled.
I regret the times together I didn't cherish.
But I'm grateful for the times it was still around.
Thank you.
And good bye.

WEINI - Darkness Deep In My Spirit (A Poem)

Loneliness.
It bites you from inside.
Then work it's way out.
Disappointment.
It drops like a stone through the air.
And falls on your empty heart, loud.

Hurt.
It flies through your body.
Like poison coursing in your veins.
Tears.
The veil which separates.
Or the carrier of pain.

Silence.
The deafening sound.
The knife which cuts through a bond.
 Distance.
The route of an adventure.
The ribbon attached to something long gone.

Love.
The same music that plays.
In two soul's heart.
Memories.
The manuscipt filled.
With everything that brought us together, then tore us apart.